


To Wish Impossible Things

by brittyelaine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant through 12x12, Dean Has Feelings For Castiel, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:51:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9901115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: Dean sits on the edge of his bed, still in his boxers, and watches Cas dress in silence; watching the soft amber light of the lamp dancing across him as he moves.Always the adios, he thinks.  He knows, in the grand scheme of things, this is necessary.  What Cas is doing is important.  But for once, he wants to be selfish.  He wants to sayfuck it alland disappear.





	

“Don’t go, Cas,” Dean whispers, a soft plea in the dark, his lips pressed against Cas’s. “Please. Just stay. I just got you back.” _I just learned to love you,_ he wants to say. Dean clings to him tighter, pulls his warmth closer. His fingers stake real estate in Cas’s hips, pinning the angel against him. He changes his mind, and slips his hand up Cas’s back, letting himself drink in the hills and valleys of Cas’s muscles. 

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas whispers, cutting himself off with a kiss. Dean hates that it’s Crowley who’s pulling Cas away from him. He hates everything about the situation. He has to fight the bitterness rising in his throat at the thought of Cas and Crowley working together again. “I have to. I have a lead.” Cas buries his fingers in Dean’s hair, and Dean wants to lose himself that feeling again and again. The heat of Cas’s skin against him where they lay - chest-to-chest beneath Dean’s covers; the slide of Cas’s lips on his… it’s incendiary, and Dean doesn’t want to douse the flame. Watching Cas nearly die in front of him; hearing those words that have been on the tip of his tongue for years… all at once it was too much and not enough, and he’s terrified of letting go of it. “We have to find Kelly before it’s too late.” Dean exhales slowly, dragging Cas in for another long, lingering kiss.

“I know,” Dean whispers, pulling his hands up to Cas’s face. “But every time you leave, I’m scared something’s gonna happen. To you. To all of it. I’m scared I’m never gonna see you again. Especially now, after--”

“I’ll come back to you, Dean,” Cas says, rocking back enough to look at Dean, their eyes meeting in dark. His voice is soft and reassuring, and it makes Dean’s heart ache. “I always do.” 

Dean sits on the edge of his bed, still in his boxers, and watches Cas dress in silence; watching the soft amber light of the lamp dancing across him as he moves. _Always the adios_ , he thinks. He knows, in the grand scheme of things, this is necessary. What Cas is doing is important. But for once, he wants to be selfish. He wants to say _fuck it all_ and disappear. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Dean.” Cas’s voice pulls him back. Cas’s hand is on his cheek, and he leans into it, chasing the warmth. “In the meantime… Keep busy. Do what you do best.” Cas smiles, and Dean inhales. It’s a staggering - and rare - sight. “Save people. Hunt things. The Winchester family business.” 

Dean huffs out a laugh and stands, surging forward to wrap Cas in his arms. He pushes Cas back against the door and kisses him hard, burying his fingers in his hair. “Be careful, please,” he whispers desperately. “I love you, Cas. _Please_ be careful.” His voice breaks, and he hides his face in Cas’s shoulder. It kills him, being vulnerable. But if there’s one person in all of creation with whom he can be, it’s Cas. 

“Always,” Cas murmurs, pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple. And then he’s gone, and Dean’s chest aches at the loss. He crawls back under his covers and dreams of Cas until Sam wakes him with a case.

**Author's Note:**

> A lil' interlude before tonight.
> 
> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr](http://brittywritesstuff.tumblr.com)!


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